The X-Files Fanbook Project Unicorn1013, Canada, originally Germany, 27 Musings of a Fangirl First contact: I think I had my first X-Files encounter at the age of 12, when I was visiting my aunt. She had more TV-channels than my parents and would allow me to watch almost anything. And one of the things I got to watch with her was "The Host". I had no clue what The X-Files was about and watching this gave me the creeps. I was fascinated though, kind of liked Mulder and Scully, but the overall feeling was fear. I don't even recall if I watched it until the end this night. During my next visit at her place we watched "End Game" and all I remember was Samantha's clone's body dissolving into green slime, which gave me the creeps again. I did not understand a thing, did not understand the concept of a clone / hybrid and could not help but imagining myself dissolving into greenish slime. I did not watch further episodes; maybe it was my decision, maybe my aunt's. But I kept it in my mind, once you watch it you're hooked, like one of the videos released in Germany was promoted: "Kontakt allein macht suchtig." This warning came too late for me, by the time I read it I had been addicted for too long already. *g* Rediscovery: I stumbled onto The X-Files again when my interest into anything paranormal increased. I read a lot about UFOs, ghost-sightings, psychic people and sooner or later I must have read about The X-Files again, as it was big in the German media during the first seasons and these articles would always provide me with some new paranormal stories. I so wanted to watch this series which seemed to deal with everything I was interested in, but I grew up with analog television and Pro7 was not amongst the channels we would receive. So I had to settle for reading the brief descriptions in our TV-guide, longing to watch it. Sometimes I would even bug my parents with retouching letters out of their TV-guides entry for the German TV-Show "Aktenzeichen XY" until it said "Akte X" (German title of The X-Files). Head over heels: The next change happened in July 1998, when Fight the Future was released in Germany. Still crazy about paranormal stuff like extraterrestrials, I knew I had to see this movie. So I went, and it was love at the first (or third, if you count the first two episodes) sight, it struck me: Mulder, Scully, their relationship, the UST; the alien invasion conspiracy story, cute Mulder's sarcasm, just about everything. One of my friends had the same experience when she saw it, friends became best phriends when we would act out our newly discovered nerdiness together. We cut out anything printed on paper containing the X-Files, watched video-taped episodes and talked, talked, talked the whole day long about nothing else, tried to uncover conspiracy theories in our home range (code name "Twilight Zone Niederrhein"), and our wish lists were filled with X-Files books, videos, posters etc. from then on. Internet had not reached our households yet, so we had no chance to find other fans at this time. However, occasionally we had the chance to go online for free, at exhibitions, for example, so I agreed to go there mostly just to get another chance to have a look at the huge X-Files resource internet. I remember one time when my phile-friend and I went to a big amusement park and found a booth of one of the first German providers where you could go online for free. And guess how we spent the rest of the day, having at least as much fun as our other friends who were riding the rollercoasters. The truth is out there in cyberspace: The new Millennium finally brought my household online. Internet took our personal fandom to a new level. Finally, we were able to reach other fans in the world, to read about things before they would actually reach Germany, look for fan gatherings, dig into Fan Fiction, sneak past our sleeping parents to secretly join a chat with all three LGM actors in the middle of the night. And we could finally download all kinds of pictures. I downloaded and printed Scully's FBI-Badge to have it attached to the windshield of any car I was driving. *lol* Our first fan platform was the Gilly Chat. I think we were about 20-30 German and Austrian philes, mainly female, meeting up two or three times a week to discuss our addictive drug. With most of them we met in person on several occasions later on, we surfed other philes' couches and had them over at our place as well. However, the first actual meeting with other philes in person was in Xanten (can you find the X in that name? ;-) ), at the X-Files Academy, May 2001. A fan weekend camp organized by some grown up, dedicated philes, made up like an FBI-apprentices trainings camp. We were trained in freeing hostages without having the hostage killed, how to deal with stress situations, how to shoot, tap a telephone, hack a computer and other handy things for a wannabe FBI-agent's daily life. And at nights we would watch fan-created music videos and brand new episodes, videotaped and imported from USA. We had so much fun with the other philes from all over Germany and Austria. Another thing we did online was look up the addresses of the authors of our favourite X-Files books. In the books it said they were living in a city not too far away, so we decided to write them a letter. I think I still have this letter somewhere. We were so nuts when we wrote that, but it was found to be acceptable. They got back to us and soon we would meet for the first time. A meeting with the authors of our favourite X-Files books, a fan's dream came true, woohooo!!! It was fun to hang out with them, listen to their stories of the times when they wrote the books (the grand date happened to be Gillian's birthday). I think they had fun too, so we met up more often end became closer friends in the course of time. One of the best gifts they had for us was their video tapes of the first seasons. We had never watched them, buying a whole box of videos was too expensive for us and in these times with slow 56k modems and astronomic rates you could not just download anything. We felt like we were in heaven when they handed us this plastic bag full of tapes. This came in really handy, for we had just started to make our own music videos, per manum, the old school way. We connected two VCRs and a disc-man. It took us ages and lots of sleepless nights to finish one this way, but we could not help but doing that. We still have these old treasures somewhere. Following the X: Even though the last year had been better than ever expected, something was still missing on our X-Philes To-do list: Meeting the actors. Our chance came at the end of 2002, when Gillian Anderson came close enough to make the flight distance affordable for us. So, we flew over to London and met up with many of our phriends to watch Gillian's acting in her first theatre play. We were soooooooooo X-cited, meeting Dana Scully in person, double woooohooooo!!!! It was sooo great, although we were a bit pissed about the fact that she would refuse to sign any X-Files stuff. However, we had some special items to for her to sign. The summer before that, three philes and I had gone camping and as one of our nights was Gillian's birthday, we celebrated with a bottle Bacardi Breezer each. We kept the bottles to have her sign them in case we really made it to London in the end of the year. And so we did. At first she looked at us strange, when the first handed her over an empty bottle, she must have gotten many many weird gifts... But after we told her the story she smiled her breathtaking-question your sexuality-smile and wrote "I hope you enjoyed it" above her signature. We were chuffed to bits, but still able to make her pose with us for a group picture (in which she is hardly visible because she is soooo tiny *g*). The next play was as much fun, as was the last one. I hope she continues doing that. When it was time to move out for my best phriend and me, The X-Files made us choose our new place of living, in a way. There were several universities in our county, but we chose the one closest to our X-Files author friends, so it was Bochum. My choice to study biology and become a scientist was probably influenced by having Dana Scully as a role model. I loved it when we had to wear our lab coats, latex gloves and safety goggles in the lab, just like Scully, even better when all this was to perform a dissection during our anatomy classes, even more like Scully. :-) Another good phriend we got to know in the Gilly Chat and had met a thousand times in person, came with us to start an X-Philes flatshare in Bochum. Two of our rats were named Scully and Gillian and the dog we got is a redhead and looks a tiny little bit like Queequeg. We covered the walls in X-Files posters, had an Area 51-warning sign at the entrance door and our answering machine said "Hello, this is Fox Mulder and Dana Scully" in their own voices and tape Xs in the windows, of course. *lol*. And it was so cool to always have someone around to watch some episodes with, at supper, after supper, while playing the drinking game and so on... This is how we kept our passion going during the way too long period of waiting for the second movie. I want to believe: I can still remember the excitement I felt when it was finally made unmistakably public that there would be a second movie. It interfered a lot with the master thesis I was working on at this time (having your own laptop and w-lan at uni can be dangerous). And it did not help that the data collecting pc's program's last line would always be "message sent to Mulder" (my PC's name is Mulder). *g* I think one of my most exciting moments was when the first promo pictures were released. I could not even have them as desktop pictures at first, they were distracting me from writing my thesis. This summer was so crazy. Our title was chosen for the German version of "I Want To Believe" (Jenseits der Wahrheit, means "Beyond the truth"). I know that most German philes don't like the title, but I still like it more than "I Want To Believe" (or even worse, a translated version of that). We won a meeting with the only actor who made it to Germany, Xzibit, at a photo contest, got a cool signed hard-cover movie poster and he bought us my first bottle of Champaign in my life. Unfortunately, there wasn't a big premiere in Berlin, although the movie was released here earlier than in the states. So we just dressed up with FBI-Badges and went to a small town with a movie theatre offering a midnight premiere of Jenseits der Wahrheit. Seeing it the first time and with the crappy new German dubbing voice was a bit less than expected, but luckily we got to see the original version soon afterwards. Two weeks later, the big premiere in London took place. It was our very first chance to meet all the stars in person and many, many fans. It was a long, long day (we flew in that morning and left the next morning, without having a room or anything), but what a day. The climax was getting to see the movie again with David, Gillan, Chris and Frank giving a short talk before the screening started. X-Con: In 2009 we finally got an X-Convention in Germany, with Dean Haglund and Jamison Young visiting. It was not a coincidence that my flight back from Iceland was going to Berlin on the starting day of the Con. I had a great time, saw many old and new faces and could delight the fans with our Iceland-X-Files photo series and calendar. One of the weirdest moments was when Dean wanted to have one of these and had us sign it for him only minutes before we would line up with the other fans to get a signature from him. *g* A Canada-themed calendar is in the works. Perspective: I've had many great experiences with the 9 X-Files seasons and beyond. The last two seasons were a bit weaker though, without Mulder it did not really work, but it was fun to hate Doggett with my phriends (sorry Doggy-lovers). Especially the ending was a bit weak. I would have expected more of an ending and closure after 9 years, but that's how it is now. Oh, one thing I always missed was a unicorn episode. *g* The last time I was feeling like a phile again was in May 2010 on a field trip to Vancouver. Visiting the old filming sites sent shivers down my spine. After all the good years we had together, The X-Files still is and will probably always be part of my life. My hair is still red and, it's weird, but the simple fact that a person I've known already is a phile, too, can make me see him/her in a complete different way. My folder with all the X-Files articles still exists, and I cannot help but smile for a moment when I happen to look at a clock at 10:13. Or I love to throw in X-Files quotes into conversations without the other person noticing. The X-Files made me think and see the governments of the world and politicians in a more critical way, being a bit suspicious helps sometimes. "Just because you're paranoid does not mean they're not out to get you!" Another wise quote is Scully's: "What can be imagined can be achieved. (...) We must dare to dream." So true, I can say that from personal experience. And I loved Melissa saying in "The Field Where I Died": "Those tapes are saying that we chose the lives we live before we're born, and who we live with. It's a nice idea. It's a beautiful idea. I want to believe." That is a very beautiful idea, indeed. Another important part of the series is the special relationship Scully and Mulder have. This probably influenced my own expectations. There is so much trust, they care so deeply about each other, they would give their lives for each other, but don't loose their own personalities even though they become soooo close. Even by just looking at each other they tell/give each other so much. And who would not want to have a partner who would fight his way to Antarctica just to save you (and who looks as pretty damn hot as Mulder)? Thank you so much for giving me all these experiences and letting me meet so many nice philes, many of whom became very good friends!!! But I have to ask you one more thing: Please give us XF3!!!!!, so we can die in peace when the world ends on December 22nd 2012. (by choosing this date you took away Christmas, so, please, at least give us another movie, with some more aliens and mystery!!!) (And I would not mind seeing a unicorn in that.)